Star Trek TNG: "Contagion" Review

Contagion (Series Two Episode 11)



This is an example of an episode that has a lot of quality, from plot through characterisation and dialogue and even arguably for effects, which at the time of release seemed a little less than the sum of its parts. Looking back on it now "Contagion" is a classic episode from the cast and crew of the "Next Generation" franchise and in fact should be ranked in the top 10% of all "Star Trek" ever produced.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. This is one of the few early series episodes where a credible and destructive threat to the USS Enterprise and her crew has real dramatic intensity. Unlike (for example) "the Arsenal of Freedoom" when Picard's crew had to outwit a long-dead civilisations' weapons here we have in "Contagion" the dual threat from another long-dead civilisation combined with characteristic Romulan intransigence. Adding another layer is the plot device of potential self-destructive failure of the NCC-1701D itself. Okay, it is logical that the USS Enterprise will survive this episode's threat but for as long as the inevitable is put off the tension is high, the creativity also exceptional and the performances resonate in harmony with the extraordinary story. How the Iconians almost kill off Data and in due course the remainder of the TNG cast is one of the best stories of any series, let alone the second.
2. The depth of back story/additional characters. "Contagion" can't be faulted in the manner in which it introduces extra detail to our understanding of TNG's universe and the relevant characters and their history. We get a bit more of an insight into Picard's character thanks to his expositionary scene discussing the Iconians (as well as a replicator order...more on that later). The opening sequence with Captain Varley's USS Yamato is not just a nod to Trek continuity but also a neat reference to history. The Romulans are given a female commander (the ubiquitous Carolyn McCormack) which is again a nod to past Trek history. Michael Dorn's Worf is comfortable growling out his anti-Romulan attitude, and this is a constant that is rarely if ever challenged throughout the character's development in both TNG and "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine". The Iconians themsleves, long dead but an important part of the story have a rich heritage that is well used in future frnachises of Trek (i.e. "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") No one can be disappointed with the in-depth details of this episodes.
3. Almost all the main cast deliver strong performances with varying shades of seriousness, tension and even comedy. Stewart's Picard is forthright, commanding, intelligent, curious and even slightly ironic as he guides the NCC-1701D through the perils of Romulan threats and Iconian probes. There are scenes when he notes with wisdom the manner in which history is often written by the victors, counsels a young Wesley on mortality and how command deals with it, engages Data in linguistic detective work and then pulls off a humorous farewell to the Romulans just before they can take him prisoner. It's a great performance from Stewart. Frakes' Riker chimes in with some effective moments on the bridge whilst Picard is down on Iconia, and his line about '...throwing rocks' is just right. Dorn growls a lot as Worf, Sirtis' Troi actually does well with her minimal input, Wheaton's Wes isn't too annoying (for a change) and finally Spiner's Data and Burton's La Forge provide a strng round out to the ensemble performances. The scene where Data rescues La Forge from a power surge is priceless, showing how well comedy can assist the dramatic tension. This is followed on by Data's 'resurrection' in engineering; one of the very few moments when laughter and seriousness are juxtaposed together and form a more impressive scene than could be expected from just one element's predominance. "Contagion" is the first episode of the second series where none of the main cast fail to deliver.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. I can only really think of two reasons that would make you not wnat to watch this episode. The first is the plot resolution. As other critics have noted the resolution is a little too fast and convenient, and it does seem a little fortuitious that an Iconian gateway turns up just at the right time for both the NCC-1701D and the Romulan Haakona to serve as destinations for Worf, Data and Picard. But I can easily forgive the writers for these aspects.
2. The other reason not to watch this episode is the manner in which Wesley and Picard have some expositionary dialogue about the Iconians and then some pseudo-counselling (where's Troi?) over the destruction of the USS Yamato. I can't really fault the performances, but the actual structure of that scene, its raison d'etre and resolution are all weaker than the overwhelming balance of the show. Perhaps if the episode was a two parter (which could have happened if the story was in a latter series) the emotional impact of the deaths of all the Yamato's crew could have been given due diligence. Whatever; these are minor quibbles.

• Best Moment:

The scenes cited above involving Data and Geordi in engineering are wonderful, combining sci-fi technobabble action and solid comic mugging. Honourable mentions must go to the destruction of the USS Yamato and Picard's escape from the Romulans.

• Worst Moment:

As cited above, Picard goes into archaeologist/counsellor mode with Wes. It's the only weak scene for the whole of "Contagion".

• Blink & You'll Miss It

Actually this is a moment almost every TNG authority has commented on; in the scene where Wes and Picard discuss the Iconians and the Yamato's immolation the captain finally gets to issue an order he would continue to give again and again in later shows. "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot." The uncooperative replicator doesn't deliver, but from now on we know that Jean Luc Picard enjoys bergamot-spiced tea.

"Data, if you can make the ball drop we'll sing Aulds Lang Syne and kiss okay?"

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Star Trek TNG: "The Dauphin" Review

The Dauphin (Series Two, Episode 10)


Wes meets girl, Girl isn't really a girl. Wes and not-really-a-girl kiss, break up and then....well, need I say more? I know, it is somewhat unfair to take such a simplistic negative approach to both this specific episode as well as almost all stories focused on the NCC-1701D Wunderkind, but this is such a slight, inherently ordinary episode it can justify such a critique. As this introduction and the rating above indicates I am not a big fan of this episode from Series Two.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. It's not a big part of the episode, but when Wes decides he needs to do some empirical research on how to go a-courting, he takes up the issue with those Trek lotharios, Worf and Riker. In the former case Michael Dorn makes great comic play with the Klingon male's desire to have furniture thrown at him by a prospective mate whilst quoting love poetry. When he responds to Wes's query as what happens Worf's one word reply ("Duck") is pure comic mastery. Frakes' way-way-way over the top Riker has a fun moment with Whoopi Goldberg's Guinan, but the impact is lessened a little because the scene is just a little too long. Perhaps it would have worked better if Guinan was genuinely intrigued by Riker's smarmy come-on lines. these two scenes make "The Dauphin" far more bearable than it deserves.
2. In itself this isn't a great recommendation however you have to watch "The Dauphin" because if you don't then you'll never see the complete schedule of episodes. I know; that is a cop-out but for the completist the bad episodes need just as much attention as the good ones.
3. I'm struggling for a third; perhaps the manner in which the concept of duty is tackled by the writers is worthy. There's Salia's duty to becoming the leader of a planet torn by civil strife. There's Wes struggling with his duty to the ship and his position of acting ensign whilst mooning over Salia, and then there's Anya's sense of duty to protecting Salia (with a neat little interplay between her and Worf). But when it comes to examinations of duty look to those episodes where Picard gets the focus of attention.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. Oh dear, the romance plot between Salia and Wes is awful. It's terribly cliched whilst at the same time has a deus ex machina element which makes it utterly ridiculous. Jamie Lee Hubbard is reasonable as Salia but Wil Wheaton's Wes makes you just want to smack him around. There was always a danger that when Wesley Crusher becomes the central character for an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" the tendency will be to go into "look how smart he is" or "look how childish he is". It took until Third Season before Wil Wheaton grew into his role. Perhaps the WC Field's maxim should be adapted; "Never act with children, dogs, or teenager geniuses in a Star Trek series".
2. The whole 'alllasomorph" construct is a weak plot contrivance, and in retrospect jars too much withhow other changeling races in the Trek universe are presented. Salia and Anya get to do everything from growling alien bears to light beings to Madchen Amick and cute widdle aliens. Now I do like seeing Madchen Amick (more on her later) but the effects are very ordinary. Give me Odo's Founders or Martia from "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" anyday.
3. The whole focus of the episode is on Wes, and with really only the one 'A' plot there is little else for anyone to do in "The Dauphin". Worf gets some nice vignettes, and Riker has his scene with Guinan. But almost all the interplay is based upon what the crew think or do as a result of the interplay between Salia, Anya and Wes. In my opinion a better result would have come from using Wes's first love as a B plot device, with more emphasis on Anya's fierce protectiveness of Salia being the A plot. Then again this would have darkened the mood and changed the episode entirely.

• Best Moment

Work explaining Klingon mating rituals. As discussed above Dorn delivers his lines with a howlingly funny mix of comedy and erotic excitement.

• Worst Moment

Virtually everytime Salia and Wes play handies or make eyes at each other. And the ending...oh my, how sentimental is that!

• Blink & You'll Miss It

Well this isn't a blink moment, as there is a good two or three minutes with her featuring. Mädchen Amick makes her first cameo in a cult TV show in "The Dauphin" and whilst her performance is unremarkable she is (a) reasonably easy to look at as far as attractive female guest stars on TNG go and (b) she was one of the first "Twin Peaks" stars to also be cast in an episode of "Star Trek". Apparently she was the runner up to Jamie Lee Hubbard as Salia; shame she didn't get the role (Wes' eyes would have really popped if it was Mädchen who caught his attention).

"Why am I laughing Wes? Well I don't think anyone's ever offered to play 'put the shuttlecraft in the landing dock' like you have just suggested to me before"

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Star Trek TNG: "The Measure of a Man" Review

The Measure of a Man (Series Two, Episode 9)
Rating: 8/10




The second series of "Star Trek: the Next Generation" gave us some incredible lows and same damn fine highs. I've already made reference to "A Matter of Honour" which immediately preceded "The Measure of a Man", and just as that episode set the bar incredibly high when it came to Klingon stories, this show takes Data's narrative into new ground, finally giving his character and in fact the vast majority of the ensemble an opening into exploring the unique position of the android senior officer on the NCC-1701D. Whilst the premise is truly a Trek invention, the convention of a courtroom drama gets taken to a new level of sci-fi excellence thanks to the characters and their respective actors.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. This is the first best story to take Data and give him a deep and satisfying focal point as a character in 'TNG'. Yes, we have caught some insights into Data thanks to episodes such as "Datalore" and "Elementary Dear Data". However whereas they show something about Data's development and history (his interest in Sherlock Holmes, the role of Noonian Soong in his creation, his search for human meaning to his 'life'), they only paint shadows. In "A Measure of a Man" we get Data's full measure. This isn't just an automaton or robot who Commander Maddox believes is the property of Starfleet. Data is both legally and more importantly for the viewer emotionally 'alive' by the end of this episode. Brent Spiner portrays Data with the same polished ease that Nimoy brought to Spock, but whilst for the original series star there were broader strokes to make his half-Vulcan come alive with in some ways Spiner creates a far more rounded android character rounded, real and human. And yet there is just enough of a gap between Data's growing self-awareness and his robotic nature to still give you a sense of 'the other'. Just as the Klingons were given the just treatment they deserved in the episode before this one, in "The Measure of a Man" Data finally receives his dues as a Star Trek legend.
2. Picard also shows more in this episode than could nominally be expected in a show that is at heart about Data's rights. We get to see the Enterprise's captain off the bridge and meeting with a woman (aside from the absent Beverley Crusher) who had an important role in his life pre NCC1701-D. His backstory with Captain Phillipa Louvois (his prosecutor when the USS Stargazer was lost) is both interesting for what is revealed and what is not revealed, as well as drawing out Picard's portrayal by Patrick Stewart as a sex symbol. For a captain of a Federation starship with such a cool, almost arrogant manner to see him smoulder and flirt with the JAG officer is quite the change. Then to add to this new dimension there is an incredibly important moment between his character and Guinan's as they discuss the underlying meaing of Data's potential dismemberment, and of course to top things off Jean Luc becomes Perry Mason, artfully winning Data's case with a legal argument that combines skill, wisdom and humanity. The growth of these two leading figures in the TNG universe is taken forward by a quantum thanks to the great plot and fantastic acting by the two actors behind Data and Picard.
3. Character, character and more character. Whilst the two leads make the most of their camera time and story, almost everyone who comes on screen with more than a couple of lines contribute to this episode. There's the 'bad guy' Commander Bruce Maddox who thinks he knows best for Data and in the process of trying to satisfy his own supposedly good intentions undermines not just Data's rights but those things that the Federation nominally stands for. Captain Louvois is one minute the saucy counterpoint to Picard's flirtation, the next a judicial officer struggling with legal and philosophical problems she finds herself barely able to decide upon. And yet she makes what the viewer at least would be considered good law. Importantly Jonathon Frakes' Riker has to straddle his own sense of friendship and duty when called upon to prosecute Maddox's case against Data, and the manner in which this plotline is written by the scriptwriters, and then portrayed by Frakes is excellent. Worf and Pulaski have their moments too, whilst we get Levar Burton's Geordi showing great emotion as he considers the potential loss of his best friend. Thankfully Deanna and Wesley hardly get a showing in "A Measure of a Man" so I can't complain about their usually negative influences on a TNG story.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. As I have outlined in previous reviews, and as cana be guessed from my high rating and fullsome praise of this episode, I can't give three reasons why you shouldn't watch "A Measure of a Man". I do have a small quibble with some of the effects (i.e. when Data's arm is removed in the trial sequence) and I also have some issues with the logic (how come the same Data who won all those Starfleet awards hasn't had the issue of his sentience come up before, or why was he so basic in understanding a mere season and a half before this show?). But when all is said and done to not watch this episode of TNG will reduce your appreciation and understanding of this sci-fi phenomenon significantly.

• Best Moment

There are so many highlights in this episode and I find it hard to discriminate against any in favour of another. Data's solitary contemplation of his possessions including a hologrammatic picture of Tasha, the resignation party (played with great comic timing and yet also some emotion by the actors, specifically Spiner and Burton), Riker's research work, the prosecution case, Guinan and Picard in Ten-Forward discussing the case, Data's defence made by the eloquent and strident Picard, closing the story with a great one-on-one between Spiner's Data and Frakes' Riker...every one of these scenes would do immense benefit if their spirit were passed into another TNG episode. Just watch it.

• Worst Moment

A tough one to pick as just as there are so many highlights there are really no lowlights in "A Measure of a Man". During Riker's legal argument we see a fairly dumb arm removal, bad visual effects when a so called steel bar is bent with ridiculous ease by Data, followed by Data being shutdown fairly dramatically by Riker. These three minor moments mar a generally sound sequence in the show.

• Blink & You'll Miss It

This is the very first episode where we see the NCC-1701D officer's engaged in a poker game. It's not much per se however considering how many future shows have some rather fun moments with the likes of Data, Riker, Worf etc betting and bluffing this is a neat addition to the TNG universe. Oh...the model used for Starbase 173 is the same used as the research station for the Genesis Project in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"

"And with it's unique positronic engineering the Data Food Processor slices, dices and makes the kitchen duties of a female Starfleet officer just that much easier!"

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Star Trek TNG: "A Matter of Honour" Review

A Matter of Honour (Series Two, Episode 8) Rating: 9/10



This is almost the perfect episode, and without a doubt one of the top five from the first two series of "Star Trek: the Next Generation". I will admit that a Klingon-centric episode will always have a far more favourable reception from me. Yet having said that the construct of two dissimilar, almost antagonistic societies or cultures coming to some kind of understanding is a situation seen again and again in Star Trek let alone TV or other narrative forms of entertainment. we get in this show Riker finally showing some character depth, some pithy comments from Worf, Picard struggling with an unfamiliar situation and lots and lots of kool Klingon krew quotes.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. The first and obvious point is "A Matter of Honor" is a Klingon episode. The crew of the IKS Pagh teach us more about Klingon life, culture, humour, diet, sex, command hierarchy and most importantly honor than the whole of The Original Series episodes as well as most shows from TNG's first series (perhaps excluding "Heart of Glory"). Admittedly I'm not 100% enthused about Captain Kargan's character, but the rest of the Klingons as shown here are incredibly well-rounded considering their brief time on screen.
2. Riker comes alive! No, this isn't some kind of 24th century Star Trek take on an old Peter Frampton album. "A Matter of Honor" finally delivers Jonathon Frakes some great lines and detailed character development in the second series (and follows up nicely from "11001001"). There is a minor moment of obtuseness from Will as he tries to understand Kargan's command style on the Pagh, but overall Riker is smart, funny, sexy, empathic and close to 3D as a character. Frakes makes an admirable comic straight man during the mess hall scene, and then without losing a beat becomes the voice of humanity isolated in a culture that isn't his own. His line reconciling eating gagh with Klingon's honor rituals is a classic epigram that has both wit and poignancy.
3. Worf the Boss. Michael Dorn's Klingon security chief has some prize moments in this show and there are a couple of scenes where you almost feel sorry for the Benzite Mendon. Almost... As Worf quotes go "You may impress me Ensign" is way way up there. Picard's disciplinary method seems very reliant on the implied threat of displeasure at incorrect behaviour. With Worf he almost picks up a verbal bat'leth to cut down the bumbling Benzite exchange officer. Thankfully this series brings us more great Worf moments.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. There are really only two. The first is the whole Mendon arc, where we have another member of the gas-harmonica breathing being appearing beside Wesley and instantly becoming the blandest guest alien of the series. His character and the storyline isn't really enough to suffice as a true B story and whilst he is mildly annoying ultimately Ensign Mendon is a plot device or catalyst. I guess it could be argued that anyone who takes some of the irriation factor away from Wesley deserves some credit. However this role could have been given to a human crew member and no one would have noticed the difference. And okay, it may be a lesser version of the 'fish out of water' concept as seen also by Riker on the Pagh, but we don't get any of the nuances of the latter cross-cultural meeting.
2. My second less than happy moment with "A Matter of Honor" is the space bacteria dilemma. Invariably there has to be a plot device such as the "threat of the week" to create dramatic tension and give something for our brave lads and lasses of the USS Enterprise D to beat. I'm not convinced that some gunge that eats spaceships slowly is the way to go. Thankfully there is minimal technobabble when the material is detected and then neutralised. However the concept in itself is silly. I mean, why not just cut away the damaged section of both the Enterprise and the Pagh and then get full repairs? Then, to top it all off Kargan goes ballistic and decides he will wage war against the NCC-1701D with bugger all reason other than he can. That bit of illogical plot development gets a reasonable resolution thanks to the cunning Riker, yet there's something just not quite kosher about this whole line of the story.

• Best Moment

Whilst I love the scene in ten-forward as Riker chows down on gagh, rokeg blood pie, bregit lung and heart of targ, the mess hall scene on the IKS Pagh is superlative. This is one of the richest scenes in all of TNG, with broad humour bordering on smut, sensitive observations on family and social norms, good natured sci-fi silliness and believable barracks-room style dialogue. truly brilliant!

• Worst Moment

I'd have to go for Wesley and Mendon's tete-a-tete after the Benzite stuffs up his analysis of the space gunge on the two starships. as touchy-feely moments even Troi's character would have a hard time making it come across less interesting.

• Blink & You'll Miss It

Brian Thompson who plays Lieutenant Klag also had a background role as a Klingon bridge officer in "Star Trek: generations", aboard Lursa and Betor's bird of prey. I wonder if somewhere in the mythic back story behind the Trek universe this great Klingon character from "A Matter of Honor" lost his way and joined the Duras house.

"On this week's episode of 'Dancing With The Stars'..."

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20 Years of Star Trek TNG: 'Unnatural Selection' Review

Unnatural Selection (Series Two, Episode 7)
Rating: 2/10


By this stage of the second series of "Star Trek: the Next Generation" it was time for a Dr Pulaski story. This naturally meant that there had to be "weird illness of the week" wheeled out by the authors, and without any embarrassment some plundering by writers of the original series episode "The Deadly Years". Transpose some crusty doctor versus cool logic versus the captain and you almost get a McCoy/Spock/Kirk triumvirate showing up as Pulaski/Data/Picard. Plenty of other reviewers hate this episode...my opinion? Well, it's not one of the best; by a long shot!

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. Gee this is tough. I guess you have to watch "Unnatural Selection" on the simple grounds of not watching it means you'll not see the complete series. I wish I could say something more positive as a first recommendation point, but I can't.
2. Okay, perhaps the tension between Picard and Pulaski finally gets a decent airing in this episode and it only took about 38 minutes and an aging disease to get them hugging. In some ways treading the same path with Pulaski's character as seen by the curmudgeonly, patient's health at all costs, transporter-phobic Bones McCoy with Kate Pulaski is an unimaginative path to tread but until her appearance on the show (and perhaps unfortunately no longer after her character left) conflict between the lead members of the NCC-1701D's crew was hardly noticeable. as much as Bev Crusher was a far more likeable foil to Picard, the 'will she/won't she' potential romance story between her and Picard was in my opinion moribund by the end of the first series. It's easier to enjoy the character clashes of Pulaski and Picard at this stage of 'TNG' then it was to watch Bev and Jean Luc make goo-goo eyes at each other.
3. Colm Meaney as 'Chief O'Brien' (no first name) finally gets a decent shot at on-screen camera time. Admittedly he doesn't have a vitally important role aside from throwing in some serious technobabble when Picard tries to reason out how they can use the transporter to save Pulaski. On the other hand he gets to sit at the conference table, contributes some fairly significant skill to all the tasks he is alloted by the command staff and shows the barest of glimmers as to how cluey he is when appearing four years later on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. It's a boring rehash of an earlier TOS show which has a silly premise and an even sillier resolution. Genetically superior children with telepathic skills make everyone they come into contact with prematurely die from old age? Sorry, give me the Babel virus from DS9 anyday. On top of that we have the transporter used as a deus ex machina to bring everything back to normal by show's end. This is just another example of some technical B-S with no internal logic curing all character ills as well as the plot failures of the writers.
2. The make up for the aged Pulaski is pretty ordinary. Okay, so 21 years after the filming I guess it's not quite fair to criticise a show for having unimpressive make up on one character. Yet it has to be said and as Pulaski's aging is a focal point of the episode it should have been done far better.
3. Technobabble goes flying left right and centre here. as mentioned above Chief o'Brien goes at it hammer and tongs with some rubbish about transporter traces and buffers and stuff, whilst Pulaski and the Darwin Lab scientists get all excited over DNA self-replication. The worst of Trek always happens when we leave the character's personalities, their internal and external flaws, their conflicts and their friendships. Meaningless jargon spruiked by faux-experienced actors just loses any internal suspended disbelief in Trek's basic premise.

• Best Moment

Remarkably it comes as the coda to the episode. As the Enterprise-D comes to the quarantined USS Lantree whose crew were the initial victims of the super-aging syndrome we get Muldaur's Pulaski giving the narration. It's not that special as a piece of voice over, but what is meritorious is that it's not Picard or another higher up narrating the closing of the show. It would have to be one of the rare instances where someone outside the higher command ranks of the USS Enterprise D (i.e. Picard, Riker and Data) get the chance to voice their own logs. Plus it's a rather sobering scene as the Lantree is blown to smithereens by a photon torpedo.

• Worst Moment

Hard to pick one alone as this is such a humdrum and lame episode. My choice is between the great hair hunt carried out by Riker and Data, and O'Brien going the technobabbler down in the transporter room.

• Blink and You'll Miss It

In an homage to then leading Soviet dissident and Nobel winning physicist Andrei Sahkarov, the shuttlecraft used by Pulaski and Data to diagnose one of the super-kids from the Darwin station is named after the Russian.

"You'd think for all the brilliant scientists here we could have scored a Nintendo Wii and not this lame chess game. But noooooo!!"

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Star Trek TNG: "Loud as a Whisper" Review

"Loud As A Whisper" (Series Two, Episode Six)
Rating: 2/10


One of the more positive aspects of "Star Trek" in all its various franchises is that it addresses social, emotional, intellectual, psychological, political and even sexual issues all within the framework of a sci-fi TV show. In several cases the tone of the preaching is effectively masked beneath a seductive storyline (for example the ramifications of politics, xenophobia and political opportunism mixing in the 'Circle...' trilogy in Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

But then there are those shows that grab the viewer by the endocrine system and literally shout down the nearest ear the message, effectively turning the story into a mere crutch for the 'issue of the week'. Sad to say 'Loud As A Whisper' is one of these episodes.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. Um....the nasty way in which the wicked Solaisian renegade zaps Riva's chorus is highly reminiscent of 'Mars Attacks'. This isn't some neat and tidy 'phasers on stun' weapon's fire, this is zap and strip away the target's flesh, muscle and then skeleton in a slow flash.
2. The idea of the Riva's chorus is in itself intriguing, but that's about as far as I can go on that issue.
3. Sorry...no third reason why you should watch this episode. Unless you feel the need to watch every single TNG show so you can write a critical blog about the show.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. As stated above, this is an issues show with the handicapped/special theme of Riva's deafness plus Geordi's blindness being knocked into our sensibilities with all the subtlety of a flying mallet. according to 'The Star Trek: The Next Generation Companion' by Larry Nemecek the actor who plays Riva (Howard Seago) took his idea of a guest star turn and plot built around his own deafness to the producers who during the 1988 writer's strike agreed to run with this central construct. Methinks that's where the lack of subtlety lies; the producers took an idea with a one dimensional construct and tried to build a story around it without looking for a story first and then integrating the issue. The whole 'we are special' message that Geordi shares with Riva is almost patronising, much like the way they used to call the Paralympics the 'Special Olympics'. Political correctness and ideological obfuscation has no place in a well constructed and delivered TNG plot.
2. Riva has the hots for Deanna. Oh dear, why does Troi always attract the most sychopantic guys between her trysts with Riker and Worf? The supposedly intensely romantic meeting of minds when Riva and Troi have dinner together is just godawful, weighed down with language a Mills and Boon writer would blush to use. There are some positives to be drawn by some pundits on Deanna's expansion beyond "I sense..." but unfortunately the writers have veered into new age foreplay. Ick!
3. Pulaski wants to give Geordi new eyes. Excuse me?! Isn't one of the coolest things about TNG is that the guy who keeps the NCC-1701D running is blind? Instead we get some dead-end dialogue where Pulaski holds out the holy grail and then effectively tells La Forge that it might be the surgical equivalent of tupperware instead. It's plot points like this that made Pulaski hard to appreciate during her series two sojourn.

• Best Moment

See above for the Chorus-gets-zapped sequence. Cool as!

• Worst Moment

Arguably every scene barring that mentioned above, both before and after the opening credits. Actually, I'd say the romantic dinner between Riva and Troi. Ugh!

• Blink And You'll Miss It

This isn't quite one of those moments, but instead a reference to the actress who plays the female member of Riva's chorus. Marnie Mosiman is the wife of John de Lancie, famous for his work as 'Q' in Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager.

"Sorry Captain Picard...we're not The Pretenders and I'm definitely not Chrissie Hynde"

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Star Trek TNG: "The Schizoid Man" Review

The Schizoid Man (Series Two, Episode 5)


In some ways this episode embodies all the frustrations from the second series of "Star Trek: The Next Generation". With a plot that wavers between silly and compelling, performances that make you smile and grimace, and an almost 'TOS' feel to it, "The Schizoid Man" is neither the best nor worst effort from the cast, crew and creative staff behind TNG. It's an episode one would watch from the desire to have the complete TNG experience, however if you came to it without more than a passing interest it would fail to satisfy on most criteria. And if that means I'm fence sitting on this episode, that is correct.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. It may be an incidental aspect of the overall show, but the involvement of Suzie Plakson (Lieutenant Selar) and W. Morgan Sheppard (Ira Graves) helps the fairly flabby story by adding a degree of character depth earlier series two episodes failed to achieve. Plakson's Selar is the first female Vulcan officer seen on TNG and she plays the role calmly and efficiently (dare I say logically). There was obvious inspiration provided by the likes of Nimoy's Spock, but what is most rewarding is just seeing the range of crew members expanded beyond the bridge staff via our favourite Trek alien race. As a character Ira Graves is unlikeable yet Sheppard's grumpy old man act fits the role perfectly. I've seen Sheppard in several Trek entries (ST: Voyager, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, the new Star Trek movie) and his character actor roles always add a little mroe shade to Trek backgrounds. So for the short sequence at the beginning of the episode where he plays off the NCC-1701D away team and particularly with Brent Spiner's Data you can't but enjoy his work. How often does a Star Trek episode from any franchise become just that bit more rewarding because of guest cast members?
2. Brent Spiner as Data: Yet again in the pivotal role of the Enterprise-D's android in search of humanity, Spiner gets to flex his muscles away from contrived, controlled robotic dialogue and misapprehensions. There's the short taste of Data as comic relief in the beginning of the episode, followed by his fascination with Graves as part of a family construct, then the meat of the show with Data/Graves emerging as the schizophrenic antagonist. There are echoes of Spiner as he played Lore in "Datalore" and in some of his dialogue we have "The Measure of A Man" foreshadowed. By this second series episode all doubts as to who are the key members of the main cast of TNG are dispelled. Stewart's Picard and Spiner's Data revive that same great synergy seen in the Original Series between Shatner's Kirk and Nimoy's Spock.
3. The comic moments. For what could be assumed to be a very serious plot the actual storyline for "The Schizoid Man" has plenty of comic scenes. Spiner is a past master of the silly (just check his work in "Night Court") and when he delivers the painfully contrived eulogy at Graves' funeral it is very hard not to giggle. The sly perve at a curvaceous female crew member's backside, the scene where Data gives Wes Crusher a few life lessons and of course the introductory beard scene all raise a smile.
   

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. Sad to say the whole 'human mind in a computer/split personality' idea has been done before in Trek and gets done again and again, and "The Schizoid Man" adds nothing new to the concept. Dealing with mortality and individuality is a noble issue in science fiction yet in this episode those two core foci get lost in the silliness of the robot/old man desire felt by Graves/Data for Kareen, and the domination of the show by Spiner's performance. These ideas need a better examination than that given in "The Schizoid Man".
2. Kareen the ditzy blonde. Oh dear, as eye candy goes Barbara Alyn Woods is not bad, as an actress she is barely adequate. The scene where she asks Dorn's Worf if he is a Romulan is just ridiculous, and her teary/doe-eyed moping during the on-board scenes are just tedious. I can understand why Graves was lusting for her when she was the only other human in his immediate area, but Woods plays a one dimensional character who evokes no desire, sympathy or interest for the viewer.
3. The crew of the NCC-1701D are yet again in the background. Pulaski hardly gets a decent go, Geordi plays with a blue laser lasso around Data, Riker looks bemused, Worf growls a little then impersonates the Original Series Uhura, and Troi does more facial exercises whilst claiming to sense an emotion from a robot. Ho-bloody-hum. Thank goodness for Stewart as Picard; as long as Spiner has him to play off the show has some energy. If neither of these actors are involved the show drags.

• Best Moment

The Graves eulogy as delivered by Data is painfully funny. Okay, it absolutely screams "Look at me, I'm not really Data, I'm Graves" but that's part of the fun. "To know him was to love him..."; need I say more?

• Worst Moment

Any scene with Kareen. I know, that's very broad but sad to say every time we have Woods' looking like a moping teenager the quality of the show drops quicker than Tasha Yar being killed by Armus.

• Blink & You'll Miss It Moment

During Data's psych test we see several screenshots on his view screen, mostly of charcaters in the episode. However briefly there is a shot of Tasha Yar and I swear you see footage from "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" where the Genesis effect shows a planet-wide flare. I could be wrong though...

"Data, I think you're supposed to put your iPod headphones in your ears"

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Star Trek TNG: "The Outrageous Okona" Review

"The Outrageous Okona" (Series Two, Episode Four)
Rating: 5/10


I guess that no matter how much you want to believe an episode of "Star Trek: The Next generation" will always be good simply because it is TNG, there are times you have to admit that no, the quality isn't always there. Elements may strike a chord reminding you the viewer of why you like the show, the characters and the basic premise yet an individual story, a guest star, a plot contrivance or just a dull and hackneyed premise undercuts the pleasure. Unfortunately in the case of "The Outrageous Okona" we get just enough dissatisfaction to distract us from what could have been much better.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. It takes a long time to get there, but the culmination of Data's B-story in trying to learn what humour is has some resonance. Yes, it is a torturous road and I'm not a fan of the story process nor Joe Piscopo as the hologram comic. However (spoiler alert) when Data comes to understand that the unreality of the audience's responses to his comic performance mirrors his own unreal desire to be more human there is just enough meaning in that moment to make it all worthwhile. Plus I guess it could be considered post-modern to have a Saturday Night Live comedian perform as a generally unfunny hologram whilst the dramatic actor Brent Spiner actually generate a few giggles if not guffaws from his laboured stand-up routine.
2. Seeing William O. Campbell as Okona; putting aside the role (a paper thin carictature of Errol Flynn playing a space pirate) I like this actor for a couple of reasons. First off knowing he and Jonathon Frakes were rivals for Riker's role adds a small degree of 'what if' to the episode. In fact you almost get the feeling that at this stage of TNG's development Riker's character and Okona's are two sides of the same coin. That could be the result of lazy character development ("I know...let's bring on board a rakish Riker type who's just as much a lady's man") but I'll give the producers the benefit of the doubt. And my second reason? Campbell was the hero of one of my favourite action films ("The Rocketeer") and whilst he may not put in a stellar perfroamnce there's just enough charm and insouciance to make you smile.
3. Worf chimes in with a couple of moments that add more subtext or character to his still developing personality. When Picard and Riker jokingly talk about surrendering to the Atlec starship the very Klingon 'grrrrr' in a cutaway shot reinforces your perception that he ain't always going to play the happy Starfleet officer. Then there is the aside about 'globflies', a nice bit of Klingon cultural referencing, and finally the look he gives the obviously just-had-sex anonymous female USS Enterprise crewmember when he collects Okona for the episode's climax. It's the small moments that accumulate into something bigger down the track which I enjoy.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. The two stories of Okona as a Casanovan go-between for two lovers and Data doing stand up are painfully thin. As other reviews have cited there isn't much substance for either story and it could be argued that Data's is the more interesting and important. Unfortunately trying to bring undertones of "Romeo and Juliet" to this episode of TNG is a failure, and there isn't enough drama or comedy in either storyline to take the episode further in the most appropriate direction. You could argue that dropping the Data story and making the threat from the two rival planets to the NCC-1701D would have made this episode more effective, or conversely forgoing the contrivance of Okona (a.k.a. Mr Space Pirate Riker) and turning this into another bottle show purely about the android's quest for humanity could have also had better results. Unfortunately the producers have followed that Hollywood maxim of nothing succeeds like excess, and we get an excess of mundane stories in this episode.
2. Almost all the regular cast are damned flat in "The Outrageous Okona". You get the feeling that the likes of Stewart, Sirtis, Burton and Wheaton just dial their performances in. Whoopi Goldberg's Guinan is asked to deliver some lines that are pretty ordinary (that "android/annoyed" joke isn't funny) and both the characters of Troi and Wesley return to type as one-note carictatures. "Star Trek: The Next Generation" is always at its best when the ensemble are on song, and sad to say most are way off-tune here.
3. I'm sorry, but the whole Joe Piscopo as comic guru is wrong. Was he the best (or more likely the most affordable) SNL alumnus they could bring on TNG? Billy Crystal would have been far better, but hey...casting requirements and budget sometimes clash and the end result are significant patches of a TNG episode being neither compelling or amusing.

• Best Moment

Data telling his jokes, both to Guinan in ten-forward then later on the bridge. Spiner continues to shine as the android with the Pinocchio complex and I like the way he makes Data deliver bad jokes badly yet still make you laugh at the unconscious humour of the moment. Only "Star Trek: The Next Generation" had the cojones to bring into TV sci-fi Catskills-type stand up comedy.

• Worst moment

Probably one of the worst moments in "Trek" ever...Jerry Lewis impersonations in the holodeck. I guess this would have thrilled the French fans of TNG but it's awkward, unfunny and just annoying.

• Blink And You'll Miss It

When Data scrolls through the potential hologram comedians to learn from the one he selects (played by Joe Piscopo) the name that comes up on the screen is 'Ronald D Moore'. Okay, this does require the pause button on the DVD player, but when you see the name it does raise a wry small considering this is also the name of major sci-fi scriptwrite Ronald D Moore. Responsible for some of the best episodes in TNG, "Star Trek Deep Space Nine" and the reinvention of "Battlestar Galactica" the real world Moore's material is far more darker than a stand up comedian's.

"Lose the ponytail and not only will I let you sleep with me, I'll see if I can get you a guest role on next week's episode of "Desperate Housewives". "


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20 Years of Star Trek TNG: "Elementary, Dear Data" Review

"Elementary, Dear Data" (Series Two, Episode 3)
Rating: 7/10



After two earlier episodes which frankly didn't quite cut the mustard, Series Two of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" really gets going with "Elementary, Dear Data". Embodying much of what made TNG great viewing, this show grabs an implausible construct (i.e. the holodeck spawns a self-conscious hologram), throws in some character development for Data and even injects a little humour.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. How can anyone go past a Data-centric entry in the TNG franchise that lets him play around with one of his obsessions (i.e. Sherlock Holmes)? Just like the earlier original series where at times Spock was given mock-comic moments, so does "Elementary, Dear Data" do for Brent Spiner's character. On top of that we have contrasting relationship between Data and Geordie on one hand (one of the first times these two demonstrate a friendship that gets more powerful over the run of TNG), and Pulaski's cynicism about Data's abilities. Yes, there is a little mugging and I'm not sure why Brent Spiner has Data drop into and then out of with great rapidity a mock-Basil Rathbone voice. Yet overall this is Spiner having huge fun with Data, and you just enjoy the ride of his performance.
2. Moriarty: Daniel Davis works so well as Holme's/Data's nemesis who gradually becomes more and more self aware as the Enterprise D's computer develops a holoprogram to defeat Data. It would have been easy to make Moriarty the cardboard cut out villian with Davis' cameo role. Yet by the end of the show we have Moriarty questioning his own existence and expressing a desire for life which is not just revived in the series six episode "Ship In A Bottle", but is even reflected by Data's situation in "Measure of a Man".
3. A third reason to enjoy this episode has already been partly referred to, in that there is a warm sense of humour permeating the whole show. There is the mock solemn performance of Data as Holmes. Geordi as Watson makes a rather prolix yet ridiculous reporter of Data/Holmes in the first sequence at 221B Baker Street. Then there is the moment we see Worf in a formal suit, then that visual joke is topped by Picard popping his top hat. Whereas a lot of the so-called comic moments in the first series were broader, here there is a slightly toned downed feel that makes the humour more entertaining.

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. I feel a little uneasy about not recommending any part of this episode, or making too heavy a criticism of specific elements of the show. I do have some concern over the incongruities of the Enterprise's computer creating a sentient life form as part of a holodeck game. It's probably absurd to quibble the technical issues of the plot, but they do grate a little.
2. The 'thanks for showing up' performance from Marina Sirtis as Deanna. Okay, I know this is a Data show, and on top of that I've had a habit of knocking almost everything we see about Deanna Troi in TNG. But her "I feel...." moment is just so redundant here. Why didn't they just let her keep out of the whole episode and leave the fun and the meaningful dialogue to the likes of LeVar Burton and Brent Spiner.
3. The ending. I'm not that personally aggrieved by "Elementary, Dear Data"s ending, but it does seem a little tame. Picard uses reasonable argument with an errant hologram of Moriarty and the 'villian' turns out to be quite a decent chap. He resigns himself to being 'saved' for a later date and gives up the power that his newly developed sentience afforded him. Okay, no one would want such a fun episode to end with some great bloodletting etc, but I'm not all that wrapt with Picard's appeal to Moriarty's good graces.

• Best Moment:

It's quite hard to pick out one specific moment, not because they are all that good but because there is an even tone to the episode. Perhaps if I was pushed it'd be the initial scene on the holodeck with Data as Holmes cataloguing the Holmesian knick-knacks, then playing the violin just as Conan Doyle would have written. But then again I like the moment when Pulaski argues against Data's ability to use intuition and independent thought as shown when she, Data and La Forge return to the holodeck. And finally, I do like the look of Geordi, Data, Worf and Picard in Victorian costume.

• Worst Moment

I've already made mention of this...Deanna Troi's semi-regular "I feel..." moment. But to top it off we have Geordi spouting some technobabble about using a ray on the holodeck...blah blah blah.

• Blink and You'll Miss It

There's a couple here. First off we see Assistant Engineer Clancy make an appearance, played by Anne Ramsay. For sitcom devotees you'll probably remember this actress for her role as Lisa Stemple in "Mad About You". Then, there is Alan Sherman as Lestrade; he and Diz White (the prostitute who talks to Moriarty on his entrance) were members of one of the funniest Handmade films of the 80s, "Bullshot". Finally, this is a tenuous link, but when Picard and Moriarty negotiate the hologram's future existence there is a reference to a "Long Goodbye". In turn, this could be seen as an homage to the first hologram program gone wrong episode, "The Big Goodbye" from series one.

"Please...please don't send me back to 'The Nanny'...I'd rather stay filed on a computer as a data file than listen to Fran Drescher!"

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20 Years of Star Trek TNG: "Where Silence Has Lease" Review

"Where Silence Has Lease (Series Two, Episode 2)
Rating: 3/10



How do you make a compelling episode of "Star Trek" which is ultimately about nothing? Hmmm, there's a good question. Unfortunately I'd have to say that the answer to this puzzle as provided by "Where Silence Has Lease" is a bit of a let down.

• Three Reasons To Watch This Episode

1. I have to admit it is hard to tease out three specific reasons why both fan and nmon-fan alike should watch this episode. I'm assuming that the dedicated Trekker or Trekkie (me, I always prefer the former appellation) would watch it because it is part of the Trek universe. Anyway, I guess one reason to watch "Where Silence Has Lease" is we see Worf go feral. First off he lets the old Klingon blood lust get a little too intoxicating in the holodeck, and almost takes out Riker. Then he again almost loses it when on the faux USS Yamato. Any part of TNG with Worf a.k.a. Michael Dorn getting a little Klingon-esque is always worth a geek.
2. Reason No.2? Oh I guess we get another vignette of the evolving crustiness of Dr Pulaski when dealing with Data. It's a minor point I know, but sometimes the viewer needs to see not all Federation types love old Mr Shiny Skin. And in fact in a latter episode the idea of treating Data as an 'it' forms the basis of one of the best episodes of "TNG".
3. A red shirt cops it. In a small but significant way we get to see our first red shirt kark it on the bridge of the NCC1701-D, in this episode of "TNG". This is an important tribute to the heritage that was "Star Trek: The Original series" in that red shirts were almost always disposable for whatever baddy was smacking around Kirk, Spock and others on the old USS Enterprise. Whilst I'm not a fan of big bodycounts, at least in "Where Silence Has Lease" poor Mr Haskell dies in a pure Trekkian way. What a shame that Dr Pulaski couldn't come up with a "He's dead Jean Luc".

• Three Reasons Not To Watch This Episode

1. I'm sorry, but the whole story really does signify nothing. The monster of the void Nagillum is not exactly horrifying, and the whole allusion to the Enterprise D being in a kind of lab experiment is not really the stuff of great drama. Okay, there is the Escher-esque experience for Worf and Riker on the fake USS Yamato, which has a slightly surreal tension. But to be honest I don't really care for the A story (and there is no B or C story to add texture to this thin material).
2. The "let's self destruct" plot device. I don't get how blithely and easily everyone accepts the idea of blowing themselves and the NCC-1701D up sop readily and easily. Okay, the 50% casualty rate of Nagillum's experiments on death as cited by Worf may not be acceptable, but to then say let's do a Waco or Jonestown to deny the bad guy of even taking one life? And then to be so emotionally balanced about it all? Okay, so maybe 24th Century Starfleet personnel may be more in tune with their mortality, but even famous last stands like Masada had a survivor here and there. And by the way, if Nagillum could do so much to manipulate time and space, why couldn't he just disable the auto-destruct sequence.
3. This is a bottle show, i.e. one that relies on mostly on-ship dialogue scenes with almost no special effects where the dialogue is fairly uninteresting, and we don't see any development of the characters (although it could be argued that the Worf and Riker friendship really starts here). The best bottle shows rely on a good story told exceedingly well, with one or more ensemble cast members experiencing growth, or for that matter the environment of "TNG" expands. The worst are like this episode; simple, lacking much significance and generally failing to make you want more when the episode finishes.

• Best Moment

It's a small one, but when Riker confirms the cessation of the auto-destruct sequence near the end of the episode we finally see a little truth in his performance. I guess a lot if not all people in the same situation would be liable to not being satisfied with a simple yes, and would blather on with at least half a dozen ways of agreeing to the idea of not wanting the ship to blow up. And when Patrick Stewart's Picard says "A simple yes would have sufficed No.1" you can't but smile.

• Worst Moment

There is not utterly rubbish scene in "Where Silence Has Lease", just some very average to poor sequences. Perhaps when the faux Deanna tries to stop Picard from blowing up the Enterprise D; for some reason Marina Sirtis's acting is even more wooden.

• Blink and You'll Miss It

This is a tenuous one, but I am sure when you watch Diana Muldaur as Pulaski get pulled around by the scanning of Nagillum, her acting is a straight rip-off of when V'ger scanned Ilea (Persis Khambatta) in "Star Trek: The Motion Picture". They both do a kind of tortured twisting dance which is not quite satisfying. Wouldn't such an invasive process be far more painful?

"I told you about the Klingon monster eating spaceships...but did you listen? Noooooo!"

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